We met in my home town Toronto, Canada in the summer of 2007. It was the kind of chance encounter that women who hate dating (as I do) hope for. I walked into my apartment after a long day at work to find a gorgeous Australian man lounging in my living room. He had been invited over by friends who were staying with me while visiting from out of town. He was also a visitor from out of town, in Toronto indefinitely. He told me about his plans to head off to India before the Canadian winter kicked in. He was foreign and transient. It was so exotic. I was in love.
By fall, we were inseparable. He asked me to go to India with him. I, of course, said yes. We made plans to leave in January of the following year. I had less than four months to pack up my life and figure out what to do with the contents of my apartment and my job. Truth be told, I had already been in the process of planning my exit anyway. The timing was perfect!
But would this budding new romance work as a real relationship? The challenge we faced was to build a solid relationship while simultaneously maneuvering our way through a developing country neither of us had ever been to before. It was a sort of litmus test. Traveling India, we had been told, was a test of patience, adaptability, and – if traveling as a pair – teamwork. Traveling through this country together could either be an amazing experience which would solidify our relationship; or it would be the worst five months of both of our lives. Which would it be?
We had just purchased the new Lonely Planet India and were sifting through it while having lunch in a café on the gallery strip of Queen West West in Toronto one cool October afternoon. A man walking passed us, noticed the book sitting on our table and stopped.
“Are you going to India?” he said.
“Yes! For 5 months. We’re really excited.”
He told us that and his wife had recently returned from a six month sojourn to India. He owned the gallery next door.
“Did you have a good time?” I asked.
“Not really,” he scowled. He regaled us with tales of misery with references to the infamous “Delhi belly”, the congested and overcrowded streets and train stations, and the sweltering heat. He described his encounters with India’s extreme poverty, filth and squalor, and the difficulties that abound when traveling in these conditions. He told us about the problems his wife encountered as a foreign woman – the stares, the difficulties adapting to the conservative Indian style of dress.
“India is very difficult. Good luck!”
I glanced anxiously at my new love. He smiled. “It’s going to be great!” he said brightly. He was ever the optimist. I couldn’t help but worry.
My best friend told me about another person she knew who traveled to India for three months with their partner. Their relationship ended upon their return to Toronto. In traveling together through such a challenging country, they discovered they were not very good as a team.
Could we do this? We barely knew other. It was India. It was for five months.
Almost a year and a half later, here I am. I returned to Toronto after an incredible five months of India – an experience that left an indelible mark and changed my life in so many ways. I became a yoga teacher. I learned how to meditate. I taught children at a local NGO. Yes, it was difficult at times but the challenge made the experience all the more rewarding.
After returning from India, I spent a wonderful summer in Toronto catching up with friends and family and regaling them with all the amazing stories that I had of my experience in India – a very different experience from the man we met at the café months earlier.
When Toronto’s cooler weather began to set in, I hopped on a plane bound for the other side of the world – destination Melbourne, Australia. Here I am, meeting his parents for the first time.
So it worked out after all. Our Indian adventure was a huge success. We had such a great time in India that we plan to return when we leave Australia! In truth, five months gives you just a small taste of all India has to offer. As for our relationship? Well, like our journey to India, we discovered that it too is a constant test of patience, adaptability, and – if traveling as a pair – teamwork.
